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Present Moments July 2011

When I enter into a coach-client partnership with you, I am here for you between sessions. Happy to exchange emails and receive phone calls between sessions. With my client’s permission I am sharing an example below, as we both feel this will resonate with many.

“I don’t know how it is for you, but for me it comes in waves. I can go months, weeks even years feeling excellent – having normal highs and lows and being in control when I am sad. Seemingly out of nowhere I am struck by this massive ocean of despair. There is never a true cause – there are often several underlying factors and contributing circumstances but generally it is triggered by something completely minuscule.

When this happens to me, I literally cannot get out of bed/car/couch/shower/garden – wherever I am when it hits. Usually my first move is to try and blame it on someone else (subconsciously). I try to ride it out and cry until I fall sleep. I used to drink but I have learned that this makes it significantly worse and prolongs the despair.

During these moments I can not see through to the other side. My heart feels such loneliness, despair, anguish and isolation that I can not find a lighthouse – in my mind, at that moment, it will never be overcome. That is the scariest part of all.

The only thing that pulls me through is to write. It always ends like this:

I take a deep breath and I write to someone.
I write to myself.
I write.

By the end of the email/page/letter I begin to breathe slower. The tears have stopped. My heart feels calmer and I can see to the other side again.

What do you call this?”

When I draw up my weekly plan I have a section entitled “What I would like to Attract this week,”  eg  Two more perfect clients, good health for my Mum. You could describe these as “Requests to the Universe.”

I was talking with a client on Friday 5th Feb, and she was saying that she needed a laptop to prepare her lessons for the college where she works, teaching IT, and for promoting and developing her own business.  She didn’t have the cash available to buy one.  Maybe she needed to put out  “A Request to the Universe.”  On Tuesday 9th Feb, 4 days later, I received this email from her

I am typing this message to you from home on my brand spanking new laptop, and I am completely stunned, overwhelmed and surprised by how it has come into my possession…! This morning I came into College (after having taken yesterday off due to stress), and was greeted with the usual chaos, this time related to me possibly being kicked out of my much fought for classroom. I cracked a hissy fit at the security guard, told my students to stay there until I sorted out what was happening, and stomped off for a coffee. Upon my bad-tempered return to the classroom, one of my students stood up, said that the class had a gift for me and promptly handed over a brand new laptop that they had all chipped in to buy for me! I was (and am) touched, stunned, amazed, speechless, humbled…words can’t begin to describe it. They said that I’d done so much for them already that it was their pleasure to do this for me. It’s exactly what I need, and has all the features I would have looked for in a laptop if I was shopping for one myself – wireless, webcam, CD burner, plenty of USB ports, etc. And they have loaded it up with Windows 7, Office, anti-virus software…everything I need
 
I’m still completely overwhelmed by their generosity and kindness, and just in awe of the whole situation and the Universe, really. Wow. What a ride this week has been…! Expect to be hearing from me more often now that I’ve got my laptop + internet situation so swiftly sorted Wow.

My daughter was keen to get digital TV, there are some good programs aired and, let’s be honest, sometimes I like to veg out in front of something mindless on the box, so, last December we bought a new TV.

The TV came with a free Playstation. It all looked easy enough: Cut the serial number off the cardboard box, post it off with the receipt and wait for delivery. A week goes by and I receive an email; apparently the serial number I sent them is not legible. I reply to the email, my reply is rejected, I phone the 1800 number and listen to piped music. I finally get to speak to a  real person, and am told to expect a call back in a couple of days. I won’t bore you with the rest of the saga, we’ve all been there haven’t we! ( Insert here your own experiences of 6 weeks of phone calls and listening to piped music)

This morning I decided to try calling again. I was feeling agitated and resentful. My self talk was going  nineteen to the dozen…”The telly is HUGE, it’s LOUD, I HATE it and I DON”T EVEN WANT a playstation. Now they want me to take photos of the back of the telly, my daughter used the camera last and I can’t find the cable to upload the picture, the printer that came with the camera is stuffing up and I can’t print the photo, and then I’ve got to go to the post office and send it registered mail.   STUFF IT ALL!”

Woah! Talk about negative energy …If I don’t want the telly and I don’t want the playstation and I am being totally ungrateful for this free gift, blaming other people and being resentful, then no wonder nothing is going right.

I decided to walk away from the issue and do nothing more about it until I could be more positive and grateful.

2 hours later I received an email telling me that my original application was approved, Yes, they could read the serial number I sent them after all and the PS3 is on it’s way.

Lesson learnt…if you are struggling, step back, breathe and see what you are doing to fuel the struggle.